Whatever your reason for Christmas, I simply hope you have one.

"Christmas is when you celebrate the birth of Jesus." That's what my oldest daughter told her sister.

Even though we don't really consider ourselves a Christian family (at least in the same sense that other Christian families would probably describe themselves), I want my children to be religiously literate. And I want them to understand the interconnectedness of all religion and spiritual life. So, we bought a nativity last year (I highly recommend this one) and I have devoted more energy this year to making sure they understand the nativity story and the meaning that so many other families give their Christmas holiday.

But hearing my daughter say so matter-of-factly that Christmas is the celebration of Jesus' birthday made me feel a bit uneasy.

I'm not here to debate whether or not Christmas IS Jesus' birthday, or whether or not it should be celebrated as such. I am, here, however, to figure out how these ideas fit into my own family. One of the things that bothers me most about religion is the fact that so many people believe they know the right answers. I have always said that when it comes to my children, I will not care what religious or spiritual beliefs they hold. I just don't want them to grow up believing that everyone else should believe exactly as they do.

"If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do faith." - Brene Brown

So because we've read the nativity story in a children's Bible story book, and we've watched a beautiful narration of the nativity story (highly, highly recommend this video - FREE with Amazon Prime), and we've talked about the birth of the "light of the world," my very literal 5-year-old came to believe that this was the meaning of Christmas. Who can blame her? 

What's important for me, with children ages 5 and 4, is that Christmas has some sort of meaning to them. 

Regardless of what you believe, it's important to believe in something -  be it your religion, the Universe, or simply human compassion. With all it's different meanings, traditions, and historical influences, Christmas provides an opportunity for many of us to come together during an often gloomy and cold time of year (depending on where you live, of course!). From the earliest records we have of civilization, humans have been celebrating things at this time of year. Most common was the winter solstice - the shortest day of the year, which meant more sunlight in the days to come. Humans have always felt a desire to come together and celebrate. 

So whatever your reason for Christmas, I hope this season is full of joy and love for you and your family. Christmas, for me, is a time to take notice of how wonderful it is to have family - near and far - who love us. It's a time to shower the people I love with gifts. It's a time of warm food with friends, soft lights on evenings when the sun sets too early, and a reminder that the world is a good place. And whether my children believe it literally or figuratively, it's a time to celebrate a special light that came into the world many, many years ago. 

I just want my children to believe in something. 

“As long as you have life and breath, believe. Believe for those who cannot. Believe even if you have stopped believing. Believe for the sake of the dead, for love, to keep your heart beating, believe. Never give up, never despair, let no mystery confound you into the conclusion that mystery cannot be yours.” ― Mark Helprin, A Soldier of the Great War

What do you want your children to believe in during this holiday season? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Truth in the Tinsel: The Light of the World

I happened upon an Advent ebook called, "Truth in the Tinsel: An Advent Experience for Little Hands." This is a book for Christian families, with the purpose of teaching children about "the greatest story ever written and the greatest gift ever given - God's own Son, Jesus the Christ!" While the premise of the book doesn't fit like a glove for my own family, I think it is a great resource. However, if you're a bit like me and want to tweak the book to better fit your own values and beliefs, I'm going to give it a try and will post my alterations here. I will probably not be doing every activity and craft during advent, and let's be honest - it may completely fall by the wayside if I'm feeling overwhelmed with holiday obligations. No activity, tradition, or outing is worth a stressful and irritated Momma. 

So, here is the topic for Day 1: The Light of the World. How could I not do this one when I wrote just yesterday about this very topic? 

The image of an inner light permeates many world religions. In talking with my children about the "light of the world," this Christmas, I'm going to make sure to emphasize that this idea is shared by lots of people all over the world.

We will watch a video from Brain Pop about the festival of Diwali. "Diwali, or Dipawali, is India's biggest and most important holiday of the year. The festival gets its name from the row (avali) of clay lamps (or deepa) that Indians light outside their homes to symbolize the inner light that protects us from spiritual darkness. This festival is as important to Hindus as the Christmas holiday is to Christians." (National Geographic)

We will talk again about Hanukkah and the ritual lighting of candles each night. The Jewish Torah, or what Christians refer to as the Old Testament, says in Proverbs 20:27 "A candle of God is the soul of man." 

Then we will read Matthew 5:14 where Jesus said, "You are the light of the world." 

The light is in us. 

Jesus, then, is important to remember at Christmas because he brought in him a new kind of light - a brighter light - and spent his life trying to remind us of the light residing in ourselves, and how to make that light stronger. 

I will talk with my kids about how they feel when they're in darkness. Is darkness scary? Are things hard to see? How do they feel when they find a light, or turn on a light? Can they see things more clearly? 

Jesus wants them to always remember that they have a light inside of them. And the more attention we give that light, the more light we'll spread to others, and the more connected we'll become to God [or insert the word that works for you here - the Universe, the Divine, etc.], the source of all light. 

We will wrap up our lesson about our inner lights by making a light ornament, found in the "Truth in the Tinsel" ebook. 

Photo taken from here. 

If you'd like to purchase your own copy of "Truth in the Tinsel", please head here. 

Do you have any suggestions to add to this lesson and activity? I'd love to hear them!

We all have someone to give thanks to.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how Thanksgiving is quickly approaching. (Who can't help but think about it when there will be lots of cooking and gatherings involved?) Specifically, I've been thinking about how families give thanks on Thanksgiving, and who exactly they're giving thanks to. I would wager that the vast majority of families celebrating Thanksgiving in the United States will be praying before their meal, giving thanks to God just like the Pilgrims did so many years ago. But what if you are not a religious family? What if you aren't sure what - if anything - is out there to pray to?

No matter what your belief about God, I think there is something to be said for taking a moment from the busyness of life to cultivate a sense of thanksgiving. 

Personally, I do believe in something greater than myself - a "God" for lack of a better word. And no matter what anyone calls it, its essence is never changing. Call it Allah, God, the Divine, the Universe, or the laws of physics, it simply IS. And taking a moment to pay attention to what IS, to cultivate a sense of connectedness with others, and with the world around us, can only be good.

In Japan, it is customary to say, "Itadakimasu" before each meal. And while it's possible that many people say it out of habit, without giving much homage to its traditional meaning, it has become a favorite word of my own. Literally, it means, "I humbly receive." But Japan has a strong Buddhist background, with an emphasis on the respect of all living things, and that one simple word expresses thanks to the plants and animals who gave their lives for the meal, as well as the farmers, hunters, and gatherers, who made the meal possible. It is quite humbling to reflect for a moment on how far that food traveled to get to my plate, and how many people had a hand in its delivery.

Whether you believe in a God or not, none of us lead the lives we do independently of others. To think that we are successful solely because of our own hard work or good deeds is an illusion. We were born because of the work of our mother's body. We were kept alive by food that was cultivated, harvested, delivered and purchased for us. The clothes we wear were made by someone else's hands. You are able to read the words on this page because a teacher somewhere spent his or her time and energy teaching you how to read.

"We don't accomplish anything in this world alone ... and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one's life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something." -- Sandra Day O'Connor

We are all connected. We all have someone to give thanks to. 

That's what I think God wants us to remember on Thanksgiving (and every other day of the year). 

If you are a religious family and already have a ritual of prayer before meals, then feel free to skip the resources below. If, however, "praying" before meals is new to you, or you haven't done it in so long that you don't know where to begin, let me give you some resources that might help you in introducing a prayer or blessing into your family's routine.

• Wendy Thomas Russell gave a few secular prayer options in one of her older posts about Thanksgiving for secular families. 
• The Unitarian Universalist Association has put their Tapestry of Faith curricula online for FREE. Check out their lesson plans for young children titled "Bless This Meal." 
• Look over this huge list of secular prayers from Kelly Naturally, where you will be sure to find something that fits your family. 

<-- This book looks great and has been on my radar for quite some time. It contains prayers for all times of day and various occasions. And it's prayers come from a wide variety of religious traditions.

<-- "The Book of New Family Traditions" is one that I purchased years ago and turn to often for new ideas. You'll find ideas for holidays, as well as daily, weekly and monthly rituals. There is even a specific section for mealtime "graces." 

<-- "Saying Grace" looks like a perfect resource for families in need of mealtime blessings.  This book holds a collection of 120 blessings - specifically for mealtimes - from across the globe. You're bound to find something you like in here.

Is "saying grace" already a part of your family's mealtime routine? And if not, do you incorporate any other traditions into mealtimes and/or Thanksgiving?

Teaching Children about Hanukkah

Hanukkah is actually starting the day before Thanksgiving this year - a little earlier than usual! So it's time to get prepared if you want to teach your children a little about Hanukkah.

Head over to Wendy Thomas Russell's great blog to learn more about the history and meaning of Hanukkah.

Books about Hanukkah:

We were able to find a couple of books at our library that explained the story of Hanukkah without being too wordy (and, therefore, boring) for my 5 and 4-year-old. 

http://amzn.com/0823425479

"The Story of Hanukkah" by David Adler was a great book, and one that my 5-year-old had already discovered on the Reading Rainbow app for iPad. It's pictures are colorful and engaging, and the story line was accurate yet not overly simplified for kids. 

http://amzn.com/157505583X

Our library didn't have a lot of fantastic options for Hanukkah books, but I'm so glad I found this one! This book, called "Hanukkah" by Cathy Goldberg Fishman, is a great one for early readers and young children. It simplifies the information in a way that is very easily to understand (and remember!), while really providing a LOT of good information about the history and traditions of Hanukkah. Don't pass this one up!

Activities:

Instead of buying a menorah, I think that the girls and I are going to try to make one. I found several options on Pinterest, but the one I liked the most was this one - made from toilet paper rolls - at Creative Jewish Mom. 

We're going to be making some traditional latkes, but we're tweaking the recipe just a bit since we are experimenting with some gluten-free changes to our diet right now. I found a great recipe from Jamie at Joy of Kosher that adds some rice and rice flour to the mix. 

We're also going to be playing some dreidel if I can find one in Japan! ;)

Again, Wendy Thomas Russell has a great how-to post on three different Hanukkah traditions, so check that out if you need dreidel rules or information on lighting a menorah.

Do you have any other resources or activities that you use to educate your children about Hanukkah?